My prison pen pal “Conway”, who is serving 25-to-life at a maximum-security facility in California for receiving stolen goods, has sent me another packet of exciting new work this month:
The Race Unwon
by Conway
Like withered old leaves on a Hanged mans tree
absorbing the useless sun’light they save
to power only an abandoned memory
inside dreary chill shadows of his grave
with unquenching air recycled-n-stale
our sun was walled out of existence
unable to recover warmth from the veil
brought on by the shame of persistence
unnatural walls, kneeling left pleading
yet still a judgment remains sitting
among the rubble of babylons leading
thrown-up, jumbled enormous forbidding
In these volumes of created humanity
necromanced from the living dead
Baptized by fire with insanity
running cold as the blood being shed.
Chase me away from their stench
erase their stench from me
I’ve no more vengeance to quench
nor do I desire this bitter memory
though the waves still sing your song
over & over with pounding pain
those stone-washed kisses so strong
break on the horizon in vain
On the border this concrete grows
a burial ground for the spurned
as conspicuous injustice glows
gleefully while innocents burned
into my barbed-wire cradle I settle
as it winds-n-twines around twirled
trapped inside this thorny nettle
no sunbeam’ steal into our world
left abandoned we learned to choose
we allow nothing into our heart
sad but true, the worst race we lose
will be those we never did start…
****
Trapdoor
Our eyes have groped thine melted sands
us trees in the snow reaching out for warm light
suffocated by whiteness.
the Sun only dissolved the asphalt
reflected the concrete, crumbling like stale crackers.
All these faces tied together on the same chain
staring out through a teasing televisions lens;
A world of opportunity offered and taunted
without scents, never relents.
So close, but yet so far away;
This distant planet’s rebuked
by icy winds
forgetting their place in the pecking order
listening for prompts
still the only sounds offered
turned into useless static
untuneable noise, apologizing
for a despicable crowd’s opinion; wonder
about thunder’s irrelevance.
When the earth falls open, to swallow your soul
then, like a trapdoor spider
closes back up to hide the hole…
****
In the Chalk
I never liked the chalk board in school
it reminds me of another day
when my sister went away
they called her JANE DOE
because no one claimed her body when she died
But, I was there that day
it was the last time I cried
You see this woman had a future growin’ up
but now that’s all in the past
she grew up in the ghetto some say way too fast
At first she went to church
it gave her proper focus as she excelled
when situations became tough she hardly made a fuss
from the madness she rebelled
All the players in the hood kept missin’
whenever they tried to get at her
and though their game was tight
to her they didn’t matter
but as the years went by
her attitude began to change for the worse
her demeanor decomposed, and
she started dressing like a tramp and began to curse
she put her pops to shame
and started getting passed around a lot
so he blamed it on our mom, said it was her fault
for all the slutty clothes she had bought
“just look at how the girl walks
and God have mercy the way she talks”
she’s only just a child and already got a kid
you can’t blame it on the daddy
it must be something the momma done did
They both knew her life was in danger
when she started walkin that walk
but never thought the day would come
they’d find her in the chalk
I found her outline that night
on the corner of our street
under a streetlight where all the gangsters meet
I snuck out of the house
and watched them take the yellow ribbon down
when those cops cars rolled away
I approached the spot with a frown
That chalk told a story of an empty death
of someone all alone
an angry pool of blood was in the chalk
when I saw it I started to groan
I fell to my knees and started to cry
I looked up in tears and asked “God O why”
Why sister did you have to leave
you told me God was just, you made me believe
My tears were falling in the chalk
as I lay in her last place
then the sky burst open and lightning flashed
I looked up and saw her face
there were tears in her eyes
as she looked down on me with a smile
then the rain washed the chalk and blood off the sidewalk
I followed it for a while
down the gutter it went and finally to a drain
and when it disappeared
I swear I felt my sister’s pain
When I graduated college
I came back to pay her a last visit
I sat down by the drain pulled out my diploma
I graduated sister this is it
I couldn’t hold it in no more
my tears started falling
they fell into the drain and I swear
I heard my sister’s voice to me calling
She told me she was happy
I grew up to be an honest man
“keep working for the future do right the best you can”
Just remember one last thing
“talk is only talk”
you can always walk away
don’t end up in the chalk…
****
Notwithstanding the above poems, Conway also has a comic side, as in this recent exchange from our letters. On Nov. 3, I wrote:
With the advent of cold weather, squirrels have invaded the roof above our bedroom. It’s amazing how much noise they can make, considering their size. It sounds like a hockey game up there. Adam tried throwing pepper in the hole (he even had the carpenter cut a little door in the wall for this purpose), then hanging an inflatable owl off the dining-room window, and now we have the bedroom computer playing owl-sounds all day. Whoo whoo! Whacka whacka! As of today, the roof-repair guys are finally here to patch the hole, so the exterminator can come and not worry that the critters will get back in as soon as he leaves. The rule is that if he catches them alive, he either has to kill them or release them on our property—too bad, because I can think of a few people to whom I’d like to deliver a sack of live squirrels.
He responded on Nov. 27 with the following anecdote:
A friend of mine got the shaft on a business transaction. She was not able to physically recoup her losses and law enforcement was out of the question, if you know what I mean. So, homegirl goes down to the pet store and buys $40 worth of crickets, then she buys 5 Hefty trashbags full of packaging peanuts. Enters the domicile of the party and dumps crickets & nuts all over the building. Chirp! chirp! yee haw!
Our sister did some of the things,my brother wrote in his poem,she died a very tragic death,but not a ”Jane Doe”.Our sister died saving her daughter at Crater Lake.I think my brother wanted to write about what kind of troubles we find ourselves in,when we don’t respect ourselves,we make wrong choices.Sometimes we are scarred in our emotions by our parents actions and react in ways,that are very unwise & detrimental to us.